Like an eventide fairy,
Twilight steals across the meadows,
Lightning the stars one by one
With her velvet-violet hands.
Like amber candles lit for the dead,
The stardust glitters in the heavens.
Always watching, but never seeing:
Unconcerned with fleeting human sorrows.
I know you're out there somewhere,
Looking up at the same sky.
I can almost see you,
The gentle starlight on your face;
The sadness in your eyes.
And I wonder if you still remember
When we watched the twilight cover the earth
Like a veil of midnight blue.
Have you forgotten?
Still don't know why I sigh
Over what I cannot change.
The pain will never truly heal,
So why do I try to forget?
We were star-crossed lovers from the very beginning;
Love like ours was just too beautiful,
Too ethereal to last.
Time went on and took you with it;
And I suppose--
I suppose it's better that way.
And yet--
If I could wish upon a star tonight--
Then I would wish to have you here
In my arms again.
And we would watch as twilight softly crept
Across the purple skies,
And hid her face in a crown of stars.
But the magic I once believed in
Has faded away with the twilight;
And you are lost to me forever.
All that remains is to go with the last light,
And pass away into darkness,
Where the tears can softly fall
And fade at last
Into silence.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
awesome! I loved the imagery you created adn the description. SOme of my favourite lines were....actually, I can't name them all.
Loved it! Keep it up 
This was really good. You described it so I felt as if I were sitting there wathching the twilight pass on, and thinking of a past lover. The flow was nice. You could really feel the pulse of the poem and how easily it went together. I loved that it was real. It's something people can relate to, wich really forges a connection between the reader and the poem.
Until next time, Stay in Love With Love.
hey love ur poem it reminds me of twilight lol
Hey there Princess! Juniper here!
This was beautiful! I especially loved the imagery you've used here; it created a peaceful, peaceful atmosphere that suited the poem exceedingly well.
• Little things I want to point out:
-
I think that this lightning should be lighting, dear.
- As I read this, one thing that stood out to me was your repetition of "and" and "like" to start lines. It's not a bad thing at all, but I kind of feel as if you vary it a bit, because if you were to remove some of the line breaks here, it would sound like a sentence with a bit of repetition.
Just keep an eye on the repetition as you go along, dear.
Nice job here on structure as well. ^_^ Keep it up!
Juniper
Hi Warrior Princess ^^ Shina here ;P I'll be your reviewer today.
It was beautiful and so, so amazing. I could really see everything you were describing.
I'm not going to go deep into all the commas and structure and all that, but when I read this in poetry format I became a little curious and tried experimenting with it. I found that this poem makes more sense and the great imagery and descriptions is more understandable when you just put it in free form, not poetry. There's not really a poetry-type flow to it. It sounds more like a story with words. I think you should just blow off the whole poetry format and make it free form if you think it flows better also.
Like Mars, I loved the imagery
Sorry for the short review ><
I'm studying for exams at the same time.
-Shina
Heya! I really, really liked this poem. The imagery was beautiful, especially the 'velvet-violet hands' (that was my favorite part).
Have you forgotten? I think this line is redundant, as you've already written 'I wonder if you can remember.' It also takes the tone of the piece from musing and reminiscing to speaking directly to this lost lover, which is not as nice as the sort of looking-up-at-the-sky-remembering-days-past tone that was going on. ^__^
The other thing is that this poem drags on a bit - you could cut out everything after 'in my arms again' and have essentially the same meaning. Not necessarily suggesting that, I just think you should think about shortening it a little, making it more concise. Especially by eliminating redundant lines like the one I pointed out above.
Overall it was really nice. *star* Keep writing!
-Mars